Recent Profile Archive Shoutouts
Tuesday, January 30, 2007, 5:40 PM

Oh man. I've been having a mental block for the past weeks and really can't find anything in my mind to pick on. Hmph, must be due to the fact that I just emptied and refreshed it of unnecessary things to think about and remember. Like other people's problems, for instance. I just can't be bothered anymore. But in the first place, WHY BOTHER? No one's asking you to listen. No one cares your the self-imposed stress that you're going through. Well, lets just say that I just took the Councilor Card out of play and reshuffled it back into the deck.

I watched Tiramisu's last episode again last week, and I still can't stop feeling so DAMN emo. Tiramisu. Sweet memories, as if they happened yesterday, raced through my mind every single time I hear that word. I remembered last time, when we were shopping, and decided to take take a rest in front of Courts, and we ended up sitting down, watching the first episode. We would talk about the show, fill each other up on what was missed and every week, go " TIRAMISU IS ON NOW, OMG, QUICK GO WATCH".
Unfortunately, although how similar we felt the storyline was to us, the show ended totally opposite of how we ended.
Hmph, I better stop before I start rambling about this again.

It's funny how people who don't really know me, have the most outrageous assumptions of the type of person I am.
But at the same time, it's REALLY funny how people who know me very well, still don't understand the type of person I am, what annoys me, what I like and what are my preferances. Maybe I just give in too much to people. I remembered once, last time when I was small, getting a fortune ticket from a fortune-telling machine at some arcade. Yeah, I know, it's all crap. But what I got was something like "You can understand people blabla put others first blabla" shit. I was small then, so it all sounded like shit to me, so I regretted not using the token to play Time Crisis again.
I know I put nicknames like " I HATE PEOPLE" and have mood-swings all the time, saying I'm not going to be nice anymore or all that shit, but there's always that part of me, holding back the anger and explosion that I OH SO NEED TO RELEASE. I think if I could put them in a missle, it'll turn into a nuclear missle. LOL. Ok, lame.

Maybe I just feel so insecure.
Maybe I feel that everyone's been taking me for granted.
Maybe I tend to put others too much in front of myself.
Well, maybe that's the reason I am happy. I don't really mind having to give in to demands or during certain situations. For me to be happy, is for you to be happy, and that's what matters I guess. Seriously speaking, I really do feel that warm feeling inside, knowing that I just made someone's day.
I guess this is my purpose then. My role.
Ok then.

Have a nice day everyone. =)

Labels:




12:15 AM

Voices abandoned me
Feeling sorry for the things
You can't control

Give it up
It says
They're not coming back

Move on
To greater things
Leave it all behind

.

My mind
A room coloured charlaton
In, hid a safe

For no one knows, no
For no one to know
The darkness it held

The maelstorm awakens
Now burn.

Labels:




Sunday, January 28, 2007, 5:01 PM

=)

I think I've just figured out a way to de-stress and release my emo emo thoughts.
TOLERATE LESS.
And it's been working quite well, at the expense of other people's feelings.

BBQ was nice today. =)

O LEVEL RESULTS.
I really don't know what to say.
But, I REALLY want to go to Ngee Ann Poly.
I REALLY WANT to get into MASS COMM.
If I can't, FSV(Film,Sound,Video) is nice too.

If I do get into either of these, I'll be SUPER happy.

Oh, and the CCAs.
I promised myself to get better at rock-climbing this year, so I can't wait to join Rock-Climbing so I won't be climbing alone anymore. Ugh, pathetic right?
And OBC!!!!!
Outward Bound Club.

Rugby in Poly? Ugh, no thanks. I guess I'll join some rugby club outside.




Saturday, January 20, 2007, 9:04 PM

Oh please please please please please.
DON'T let it rain tomorrow.













Because there's gonna be a helluva paintball match.




12:56 PM

Just changed to Mozilla Firefox.
Its so nice.
I'm using a simper blogskin, so all you lovelies out there won't lag so much.
Changed embed music files from mp3 to wma, cos' I think mp3s causes lags.
Can't wait for paintball match on Sunday.
I'm so ready to go back to work. Should stop taking off days.
MASS COMM MASS COMM.
Ok, bye.




Friday, January 19, 2007, 4:22 PM

My mood is fine, but I just have this desire to blog something depressing. Oh, wait, its not fine anymore. It seems to be all torn up inside. Hmph, mood swings. I've been having too much of 'em lately. Maybe because I don't really have someone to help me calm down. But yeah, there are people who do entertain me, people like Mark or Wei Arng. But that's different. They're different. They can't be there all the time. I mean, it's hard knowing that the only person who really understood you and could really calm you down is now thousands of miles away in another continent.

The coolant to my blaze.
The wind to my haze.

Ah, just call it what you want. I'm just so depressed now.

---------------------------------------------------------------

The blade, unsheathed
It penetrates deep
Blood trickles down
The heart

There is no guard
From this poison dart
Which causes our hopes
To part

To stand up tall
A mighty feat
A burden we could not
Carry

For our courage
Has long gone
Beneath our feet
They lay buried

When fury comes
We flap our gums
Blame the world
For our problems

Now she's gone
My heart, still torn
Missing her words
Beautiful adornments.

Labels:




Wednesday, January 17, 2007, 3:34 PM

YAYYYYYYYYYY!!
Today was the BEST BIRTHDAY I EVER HAD.
SPECIAL THANKS TO THESE PEOPLE( in order of wishes) :

deannaMonster
sarahMMM
amalinaPimples
dinahDino
jannahShorty
zonaFan
kendrickKendy
denisePigu
cellySally
kennethLEOW
yelynBuglyn
wei arngDood
NATCAT
Bros and sis
chantelGal
dallasBABA
jeremiahAmiah
jieyongLocalGod
euniceNICE
dannySenior
sitiShity
cuz aif
efd cuzzy
sirhanHAN
nutNad
michelleMuffins
markCHENG
danielAHBAO

well, thats all that I can remember. Thanks to everyone who made my 17th birthday the best birthday ever. =)
And also, to Denise,Deanna,Celly,Nat and Kenneth who threw me a surprise mini-party even though some of them were tired and sick after school. I'm so super touched, thanks guys. =)

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
random pic

okay, my neck hurts. I wanna rest. cya!




Friday, January 12, 2007, 11:02 PM

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

With these monsters blasting the heat out of your ass, no wonder you'll get crazy in the cold room. All thanks to MULLER freeze-your-ass-out fans.

Symtomps of Freezer Madness:

  • Loud zhao sia voice
  • Inability to speak properly
  • Arul grade singing
  • Excessive flow of vulgarities
  • Loss of feeling in toes,ears or other limbs
  • Abuse of cardboard boxes and forzen food.

Sometimes, when things get too sian, we could always use our brains and think of something we can do with penknives and cardboard boxes.
As shown below.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Who knows. I could be the new Giant mascot. =)




Thursday, January 11, 2007, 6:00 PM

Torches

We lay them on the floor
One by one
Never too many to carry

We feel the warmth searing
Through our gears, they keep us moving
The promise, to keep the fires burning

As it pours
We bring them together
Never once we were alone
When it shines
We burn our brightest
And we fight the winds that were blown

We come together
To ignite each other
And combine our flames in glee
When we drop
We pick up for each other
And rekindle our problems free

Alas
This could not
Go on forever
What was strong
Was brought down by error

The flames extinguish
One by one
Hearts cry out in anguish

For the promise has been broken
By new chapters that have opened
Defilers of the circle, t'was their bidding

Smoldering charred placements
Whats left of the arrangements
Remains of the sacred flame

Refugees, victims and survivors
Outcasts, no, fighters
We perservere and carry our torches high

For we honour the sacred flame
As we spread to those we attain
To complete, the circle again

If you do understand what I'm trying to say here, you should know how upset it is to go through something like this. A flame promised to be kept burning shouldn't just be left to die out by itself.You don't need to kill a flame to feed a new one.

Labels:




4:28 AM

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


Indeed, VERY DEPRESSING! =(
while I'm at it, might as well...

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANNAH! =D
I look screwed. =X. haha.




Wednesday, January 10, 2007, 6:30 PM

Hmph, whats up with blogger? Can't access it just now, and some other blogs too.
Luckily mine's still up. Oh well, let's start.

Firstly, I would like to apologise to all the people I've kinda annoyed the past few weeks with all my rambling about how the world screwed up my life and all. I just need someone to tell all this to okay? It kinda helps if you share your problems with others, and with who better to than the good friends around you. If you don't wanna hear them, please DO tell me. It's okay, I'll stop. =).

Yeah, as I've told some people countless times, my job is screwed up. But after a full week working there, I realized its not too bad. I made quite a few friends there.

This funny indian dude Chandran with his never ending zhao sia-ed voice and nagging.
Kim Jun, kinda cool. Very laid-back, but he does get the job done all the time.
Kian Tiong from Ngee Ann Poly, works Sats and Suns. He looks kinda decent, but the first word you're probably gonna hear from him is "CHEEBYE!". It is the universal word there you know. Haha.
Ahmad, big guy from Bukit Batok Sec. Plays Rugby too, and for Bedok Kings. Don't meet him much, different shifts everytime.
Boon Leong, pretty quiet and kinda stern. Has a sian aura around him. Speaks so damn soft.
And my HOD(Head of Department), Ken. He's abit bald and probably the nicest Head you can ever have there, no pun intended.

And I work in the Frozen/Dairy Department, in a -16degree freezer. Most of you probably have known that by now, through one of my never-ending ramblings.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Other than turning me into a GIANT(lol), working there did teach me how hard it is to earn money. I used to spend money all the time, not caring about the sweat and blood my parents have sacrificed working. I guess I should start pitching in to help pay our household bills now, since my older bro's gonna leave us soon after he gets married next year.
I can't help but feel so rotten, spoilt and bad last time.
Sorry Mom.

It's 2am. I'm getting sleepy.
Nights everyone. Have a nice day, everyday. =)




Monday, January 08, 2007, 5:22 PM

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

There's always a time when you'll find yourself alone. Then you start to think. Friends..Family.. basically, Life. Flashbacks of past memories starts to fill your mind. By yourself, alone, you smile, you frown, cry and even laugh. You know people might think you are crazy, but who are they to judge? For that time being, you're in that happy/depressing place in your mind.

You remembered something funny and and quickly spin to your right to tell someone you thought was there, only to be greeted by empty seats. You look away, disappointed at your mind, taking advantage of the moment you're having by playing tricks on you. You see lights. Then, it hits you. Isn't there supposed to be someone beside you?
You ponder on that thought. The longer you do, the more lost you feel.

A shoulder to lie on?
Or just a voice to respond?
Some coolant for your blaze?
Or is this all just a phase?

Yeah. Tell that to yourself. You will grow out of this sick feeling.
But you just can't help but stare at your own reflection and feel really sorry for yourself.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Day by day, your poor little heart gets pummeled by depressing thoughts and musings. You start to feel emotionally vulnerable and feel down everytime a certain topic gets discussed or during a certain event. You tell yourself, its supposed to be a happy occasion, but you just can't close that floodgate completely just by saying that. I wonder where did the engineer go..

You try to see whats wrong with yourself. Nothing's wrong. The only thing missing is that big chunk someone took from your heart. And you wonder. Did she really take it? Or is she just playing around with it? And your thoughts start to crumble into little bite-size pieces of possibilities and assumptions.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

You find life too empty. Like an empty beaker or a hollow coconut. A thought hits you, and it keeps buzzing in your cranium. You get a job, thinking that doing some work and earning some money will help improve your emotional health(is there such a thing?). But seems that you got the wrong job, and the stress doubles.

You become emotionally unstable and your mental health deteriorates. You get migraines and headaches, and don't get enough sleep, since you spend the night away thinking and thinking.

A sign buzzes on the ceiling. "EXIT". It's locked. You knock and knock as hard as you can, your last desperate attempts to escape this madness. And finally, someone opens.

He gives you a hand, gesturing you to come with him into the light.
You smile and instantly, other smiles start to pop up from the brightness.
A figure goes up to you and gives you the most heart-warming hug you ever felt.

Safe now, with good friends.

Its 2007. Make way for new memories, but please do cherish the old ones.
Love everything and everyone. You will be loved.

Labels: