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Sunday, April 29, 2007, 5:24 PM
It is shocking to discover that fact about myself.
Well, not quite. Maybe it's because I don't even have the desire. But it really reminds me of a conversation I once had over a phone with a certain friend. I could hear how hard he was holding his tears back as he poured everything out, and all I could do is listen. I can't share his pain, I can't do anything more. But now, I do know how he feels, and how it feels like. I don't know wtfbbq happened. Since graduation, wait, no, since Samantha. Or was also because of that incident a few months ago? I don't really know, but I guess what happened a few months ago made things worse. It's torture. And the insecurity is killing me. I've understood. It's not the desire. It's the need.
I don't care.
I just need you to be by my side.
A pal, a close friend, whatever.
I need you.
Sunday, April 22, 2007, 4:16 PM
Thanks Mr Hitoshi Nirei!
[Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra Photographer]
Wednesday, April 18, 2007, 2:41 AM
My data cable is with my bro. I CAN'T UPLOAD PHOTOS.
This is like, so annoying.
Later.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007, 12:49 AM
Okay, I have offically rested enough, and 3/4 of my voice is back.
TEMASEK POLY FRESHMEN ORIENTATION CAMP ROCKSS!!!!!! :D
I'm starting to miss everyone already, and my wonderful wonderful empire+sub-empire, ZILRA and ZILRI :DDDDD. *fyi empires = OGs
ZILRA OII!!
But pity, my phone went dead halfway through the camp, and all I could take was a picture of my buddies and 3 spastic GLs from Kaistor who we thon-ed the 2nd night with, irritating and annoying the crap out of anyone walking past the corridors.
The first day was quite boring, everyone was shy and quiet, and I could see the GL's trying REALLY hard to get us to cheer and sing. Icebreakers were fun. Met quite alot of fun people.
OKAY I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I FORGOT MOST OF THE FIRST DAY. :(
Haaha. Okay, the food was fine, I THINK, but I don't know, is it just me, or am I the only one starving half to death throughout the whole camp? But the food was good, only the quantity.
The 2nd day was much much much better. More fun games. Nice-but-not-enough food, and YES, the PERFORMANCE NIGHT, MASS-DANCE and JAM&HOP. We acted out a skit, me playing a sissy messenger trying to persuade the king to sell his kingdom. THEN, IT WAS THE MASS-DANCE. WOOHOOO. MARRY MOOOOOOOOOO!! It's a dance that they teach freshies every year during FOC. The song we were dancing to was by Deadeye Dick - New Age Girl. Nice song, thinking of asking my band to come down to TP and play it someday. It'll sure drive the people who went for FOC high. After that we danced the night away in Jam&Hop, turning TP Sports Hall into a mini-club for a night.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I didn't know school songs could be so fun to sing and dance to, especially TP's :D
Left to Right: Darren, Sab and Ruslan.
Haha, we are so freaking annoying, all the way from 1am to the next day, 7am. The drama began when Darren banged his head on the water cooler, like WTH?!? hahahahha. Then Sab kept rolling on the floor laughing like mad for about half an hour till she was able to walk properly.
We gathered lots of lines from cheers by other empires and did stuff like this:
Us: Hey, what's the letter before B ah?
Them: Umm, A?
Us: A! A! A! A! AHHHHHHH!
Us: Hey, did you see that!?!
Them: See what?
Us: shi, sha sha shi sha sha, shi, sha sha WOOT WOOT.
Us: Hey! You guys wanna go!?
Them: Go where?
Us: UNDERWEAR! HAHAHA. Us: Have you guys checked?
Them: Checked what?
Us: CHECKOFIFA! LOL. and many many many more.
Haha, it's the start of a new tradition! Me and Fiz promised to come back next year as GLs and do stuff like this again. Hahahhaa. :D Me and Fiz were super high the next morning, cos we didn't sleep. Trying to make everyone high the next morning, but oh well, everyone's too dead, end up losing more voice. 3rd day was uber fun, but was also annoying. We played station games, ALL WET GAMES. Underwear wet wet! :D
Hahaa. After that we played this game called HUNG-GRY or smth. We had to do silly stuff on a list to get points. But in the end, we got last place, but oh well, we dont really care about our position. We had FUN. :D
Dozed off while sitting down during the last few hours of the camp, all I could remember was Kim and Fiz slapping my lap so hard, I wanted to cry, but was too tired, so I just stared at them with this dead face 0_0. hahahha.
Then it was Mass-Dance again! and the TP school song! woohoo.
After that, it was the EMO moment, everyone cried and all. =/ Almost the whole camp slacked outside CPF Building's MacDonald. Ate 2 meals(thankgod MacDonald) then headed home. I live damn far you know, everyone LOL-ed at where I lived. So I had to catch the bus early =(((
But in the end, I dozed off at the bustop and saw the last 168 bus drive away, so I was like, WTF?!. Hahaha. Had to cab back home T_T. I have a feeling the next 3 years in TP will be the best time of my life, even though there's pratically no one I know when I first came :)
Can't wait for my course camp on the 18th-20th.
School starts on the 23rd. :D
TP OI!
Sunday, April 15, 2007, 4:29 PM
ORIENTATION KICKED ASS.
BLOG LATER. I NEED TO SLEEP :)
Monday, April 09, 2007, 6:40 PM
Its hard trying to keep 2 different parts of your life apart because living 2 lives is already as hard as it gets. Certain issues being uber touchy and WILL cause someone to flip out. You can't just mix them both. I know, I've tried. From the looks of it, I won't try it again. Well, you can't expect others who know the both of you to behave in 2 different ways in different situations. Sooner or later, they'll let it slip. You can never trust people with secrets if it was never meant to reach the ears of a third party.
I'm not surprised. Their "I never could've imagined" faces. I get that alot.
Once you trust the wrong person, too late. Just sit back and watch the conflagration burn down your life, slowly and painfully. It's no use trying to explain. And the worse that could happen: Blackmail, either intentionally, or unintentionally. People will do just anything to get back at you.
Once again, I'll type it here again. It's not funny.
Discussing personal matters IN FRONT of a third party is not funny at all.
Even if you're just saying things that are related to it, because to me, you're just giving away hints for the third party to guess.
But oh well. I cant stay angry. Wait, I don't even have to be angry. You will realise yourself what you have done, and seek for an empty forgiveness. And I'll just sit here and stare at the screen or my phone, and laugh. How predictable.
Now, I can't help it but smile. Looking at all this in another way, it's all quite funny.
To be able to understand. Everything being so clear. It's amusing to know you can take thinking to a whole new level.
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Sunday, April 29, 2007, 5:24 PM
It is shocking to discover that fact about myself.
Well, not quite. Maybe it's because I don't even have the desire. But it really reminds me of a conversation I once had over a phone with a certain friend. I could hear how hard he was holding his tears back as he poured everything out, and all I could do is listen. I can't share his pain, I can't do anything more. But now, I do know how he feels, and how it feels like. I don't know wtfbbq happened. Since graduation, wait, no, since Samantha. Or was also because of that incident a few months ago? I don't really know, but I guess what happened a few months ago made things worse. It's torture. And the insecurity is killing me. I've understood. It's not the desire. It's the need.
I don't care.
I just need you to be by my side.
A pal, a close friend, whatever.
I need you.
Sunday, April 22, 2007, 4:16 PM
Thanks Mr Hitoshi Nirei!
[Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra Photographer]
Wednesday, April 18, 2007, 2:41 AM
My data cable is with my bro. I CAN'T UPLOAD PHOTOS.
This is like, so annoying.
Later.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007, 12:49 AM
Okay, I have offically rested enough, and 3/4 of my voice is back.
TEMASEK POLY FRESHMEN ORIENTATION CAMP ROCKSS!!!!!! :D
I'm starting to miss everyone already, and my wonderful wonderful empire+sub-empire, ZILRA and ZILRI :DDDDD. *fyi empires = OGs
ZILRA OII!!
But pity, my phone went dead halfway through the camp, and all I could take was a picture of my buddies and 3 spastic GLs from Kaistor who we thon-ed the 2nd night with, irritating and annoying the crap out of anyone walking past the corridors.
The first day was quite boring, everyone was shy and quiet, and I could see the GL's trying REALLY hard to get us to cheer and sing. Icebreakers were fun. Met quite alot of fun people.
OKAY I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I FORGOT MOST OF THE FIRST DAY. :(
Haaha. Okay, the food was fine, I THINK, but I don't know, is it just me, or am I the only one starving half to death throughout the whole camp? But the food was good, only the quantity.
The 2nd day was much much much better. More fun games. Nice-but-not-enough food, and YES, the PERFORMANCE NIGHT, MASS-DANCE and JAM&HOP. We acted out a skit, me playing a sissy messenger trying to persuade the king to sell his kingdom. THEN, IT WAS THE MASS-DANCE. WOOHOOO. MARRY MOOOOOOOOOO!! It's a dance that they teach freshies every year during FOC. The song we were dancing to was by Deadeye Dick - New Age Girl. Nice song, thinking of asking my band to come down to TP and play it someday. It'll sure drive the people who went for FOC high. After that we danced the night away in Jam&Hop, turning TP Sports Hall into a mini-club for a night.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I didn't know school songs could be so fun to sing and dance to, especially TP's :D
Left to Right: Darren, Sab and Ruslan.
Haha, we are so freaking annoying, all the way from 1am to the next day, 7am. The drama began when Darren banged his head on the water cooler, like WTH?!? hahahahha. Then Sab kept rolling on the floor laughing like mad for about half an hour till she was able to walk properly.
We gathered lots of lines from cheers by other empires and did stuff like this:
Us: Hey, what's the letter before B ah?
Them: Umm, A?
Us: A! A! A! A! AHHHHHHH!
Us: Hey, did you see that!?!
Them: See what?
Us: shi, sha sha shi sha sha, shi, sha sha WOOT WOOT.
Us: Hey! You guys wanna go!?
Them: Go where?
Us: UNDERWEAR! HAHAHA. Us: Have you guys checked?
Them: Checked what?
Us: CHECKOFIFA! LOL. and many many many more.
Haha, it's the start of a new tradition! Me and Fiz promised to come back next year as GLs and do stuff like this again. Hahahhaa. :D Me and Fiz were super high the next morning, cos we didn't sleep. Trying to make everyone high the next morning, but oh well, everyone's too dead, end up losing more voice. 3rd day was uber fun, but was also annoying. We played station games, ALL WET GAMES. Underwear wet wet! :D
Hahaa. After that we played this game called HUNG-GRY or smth. We had to do silly stuff on a list to get points. But in the end, we got last place, but oh well, we dont really care about our position. We had FUN. :D
Dozed off while sitting down during the last few hours of the camp, all I could remember was Kim and Fiz slapping my lap so hard, I wanted to cry, but was too tired, so I just stared at them with this dead face 0_0. hahahha.
Then it was Mass-Dance again! and the TP school song! woohoo.
After that, it was the EMO moment, everyone cried and all. =/ Almost the whole camp slacked outside CPF Building's MacDonald. Ate 2 meals(thankgod MacDonald) then headed home. I live damn far you know, everyone LOL-ed at where I lived. So I had to catch the bus early =(((
But in the end, I dozed off at the bustop and saw the last 168 bus drive away, so I was like, WTF?!. Hahaha. Had to cab back home T_T. I have a feeling the next 3 years in TP will be the best time of my life, even though there's pratically no one I know when I first came :)
Can't wait for my course camp on the 18th-20th.
School starts on the 23rd. :D
TP OI!
Sunday, April 15, 2007, 4:29 PM
ORIENTATION KICKED ASS.
BLOG LATER. I NEED TO SLEEP :)
Monday, April 09, 2007, 6:40 PM
Its hard trying to keep 2 different parts of your life apart because living 2 lives is already as hard as it gets. Certain issues being uber touchy and WILL cause someone to flip out. You can't just mix them both. I know, I've tried. From the looks of it, I won't try it again. Well, you can't expect others who know the both of you to behave in 2 different ways in different situations. Sooner or later, they'll let it slip. You can never trust people with secrets if it was never meant to reach the ears of a third party.
I'm not surprised. Their "I never could've imagined" faces. I get that alot.
Once you trust the wrong person, too late. Just sit back and watch the conflagration burn down your life, slowly and painfully. It's no use trying to explain. And the worse that could happen: Blackmail, either intentionally, or unintentionally. People will do just anything to get back at you.
Once again, I'll type it here again. It's not funny.
Discussing personal matters IN FRONT of a third party is not funny at all.
Even if you're just saying things that are related to it, because to me, you're just giving away hints for the third party to guess.
But oh well. I cant stay angry. Wait, I don't even have to be angry. You will realise yourself what you have done, and seek for an empty forgiveness. And I'll just sit here and stare at the screen or my phone, and laugh. How predictable.
Now, I can't help it but smile. Looking at all this in another way, it's all quite funny.
To be able to understand. Everything being so clear. It's amusing to know you can take thinking to a whole new level.
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Profile
"Lunfy", haha. I'm 19 this year. I like loud people, sports, gym, dancing, singing, the beach, whatever that makes me feel alive. Well, I guess I'll look like any other guy out on the street if you see me. Just like how everyone looks like. But if you do take the time and trouble to know the people you deemed "similar" and "insignificant", the world wouldn't look so big anymore. I like being nice to people, people whom I've never known, seen or spoken to before. Pretty much random acts of kindness, not caring to whom, what, when or where. But too bad, almost no one in this country doesn't really know how to react to kindness. Either they'll act as if nothing happened or stare at you like some freak. I always believed that a single smile can change someone's life totally. I'm a heavy chain smoker, but I did manage to cut down alot this year. I appreciate a wide range of music. I hate the fact that some people label themselves with genres and be so narrow-minded about music. I believe no one can find true love, because it finds you. Till then, please be patient. Don't go starting off meaningless relationships or relationships you know that won't last. I hate the fact that out in the streets, people are collecting cans for a living while our ministers dance around and earn millions each year. Politics around the world are getting more and more ridiculous each day. To me, there seems to be no such thing as democracy anymore, but downright capitalism everywhere. I support movements for human rights and against animal abuse. Even though our freedom and rights have been taken away by ridiculous laws, I believe we can still make a difference one day. Once I told my friends I'd stay here and fight for what I believe in till I made a difference rather than migrate with them to somewhere else, and I got made fun of. It's okay I guess, because some people don't really understand. I have a bad habit of observing people, their actions, reactions, and attitude. But oh well, at least that makes me get along with almost everyone I meet in my life. I just pity people with social defects.
So that's all for now. Maybe I'll add more stuff soon and maybe some pictures. See ya.
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