|
Tuesday, July 10, 2007, 4:31 PM
As he looks over to his sides, keen to strike up a conversation or just to seek comfort in a familiar face, reality strikes him. There wasn't anyone beside him at a time like this. Even though this has been going on for years, from his childhood, he often forgets of the lonesome he's engulfed in. He shifts his attention to the floor of the train where he starts to define his meaning in life, only to realize the same emptiness over and over again.
He steps out of the train and makes his way to his destination. Sometimes if he's lucky, he gets to see familiar faces. But then again, such things seldom happen.
As he reaches, he feels lost. There's still 20 mins. He shrugs off the feeling and makes his way to a table. He looks around. Everyone seems to be with someone else. Like a cold arrow, the awkward silence..lonesome. He flips out his laptop, the only friend he has at such times.
Lunch. Cafeteria was packed full. He makes his way to a table...If he's lucky, someone he knows might come up and sit with him. But then again, such things seldom occur. He flips out his only friend, ignoring stares and weird glances from tables around.
He likes to do what he loves best. But often, the things he does are not always shared or enjoyed by his friends. He finds another kind of loneliness. One where he does what he loves best, but not being able to share that joy with someone else. He tries to make new friends but they often just last the whole day. Just a "Hi Bye" thing.
The sky darkens. It's time to go home. He stares out the bus window, under the cold blast of the AC, numbing the pain he feels everytime he glances at the empty row of seats beside him. He asks himself Why. Everyone always has someone to go everywhere with. Why not him. He falls asleep thinking of such things for too long.
Even though it was depressing, it was normal to him. A normal feeling though, but the idea of the whole thing was definitely not normal to him. All he could do was shrug it off. Maybe it's because he doesn't believe in having very close friends anymore, or the idea of forming cliques. All he wants is to be friends with everyone, but maybe that comes with a price. The price of having someone to be with during the times when he was alone.
He's in a jar of matchsticks. There are blue ones, green ones and red ones. He's the burnt one. But yet, he's still a matchstick.
Maybe such situations are inevitable. He knows he has the power to understand beyond maturity, beyond the human limits. But he's still human. And he has feelings, that are yet, still hard to be understood.
Being able to understand the world, but not yourself.
You have a long way to go man.Labels: Re-discovering Myself
|
Tuesday, July 10, 2007, 4:31 PM
As he looks over to his sides, keen to strike up a conversation or just to seek comfort in a familiar face, reality strikes him. There wasn't anyone beside him at a time like this. Even though this has been going on for years, from his childhood, he often forgets of the lonesome he's engulfed in. He shifts his attention to the floor of the train where he starts to define his meaning in life, only to realize the same emptiness over and over again.
He steps out of the train and makes his way to his destination. Sometimes if he's lucky, he gets to see familiar faces. But then again, such things seldom happen.
As he reaches, he feels lost. There's still 20 mins. He shrugs off the feeling and makes his way to a table. He looks around. Everyone seems to be with someone else. Like a cold arrow, the awkward silence..lonesome. He flips out his laptop, the only friend he has at such times.
Lunch. Cafeteria was packed full. He makes his way to a table...If he's lucky, someone he knows might come up and sit with him. But then again, such things seldom occur. He flips out his only friend, ignoring stares and weird glances from tables around.
He likes to do what he loves best. But often, the things he does are not always shared or enjoyed by his friends. He finds another kind of loneliness. One where he does what he loves best, but not being able to share that joy with someone else. He tries to make new friends but they often just last the whole day. Just a "Hi Bye" thing.
The sky darkens. It's time to go home. He stares out the bus window, under the cold blast of the AC, numbing the pain he feels everytime he glances at the empty row of seats beside him. He asks himself Why. Everyone always has someone to go everywhere with. Why not him. He falls asleep thinking of such things for too long.
Even though it was depressing, it was normal to him. A normal feeling though, but the idea of the whole thing was definitely not normal to him. All he could do was shrug it off. Maybe it's because he doesn't believe in having very close friends anymore, or the idea of forming cliques. All he wants is to be friends with everyone, but maybe that comes with a price. The price of having someone to be with during the times when he was alone.
He's in a jar of matchsticks. There are blue ones, green ones and red ones. He's the burnt one. But yet, he's still a matchstick.
Maybe such situations are inevitable. He knows he has the power to understand beyond maturity, beyond the human limits. But he's still human. And he has feelings, that are yet, still hard to be understood.
Being able to understand the world, but not yourself.
You have a long way to go man.Labels: Re-discovering Myself
|
Profile
"Lunfy", haha. I'm 19 this year. I like loud people, sports, gym, dancing, singing, the beach, whatever that makes me feel alive. Well, I guess I'll look like any other guy out on the street if you see me. Just like how everyone looks like. But if you do take the time and trouble to know the people you deemed "similar" and "insignificant", the world wouldn't look so big anymore. I like being nice to people, people whom I've never known, seen or spoken to before. Pretty much random acts of kindness, not caring to whom, what, when or where. But too bad, almost no one in this country doesn't really know how to react to kindness. Either they'll act as if nothing happened or stare at you like some freak. I always believed that a single smile can change someone's life totally. I'm a heavy chain smoker, but I did manage to cut down alot this year. I appreciate a wide range of music. I hate the fact that some people label themselves with genres and be so narrow-minded about music. I believe no one can find true love, because it finds you. Till then, please be patient. Don't go starting off meaningless relationships or relationships you know that won't last. I hate the fact that out in the streets, people are collecting cans for a living while our ministers dance around and earn millions each year. Politics around the world are getting more and more ridiculous each day. To me, there seems to be no such thing as democracy anymore, but downright capitalism everywhere. I support movements for human rights and against animal abuse. Even though our freedom and rights have been taken away by ridiculous laws, I believe we can still make a difference one day. Once I told my friends I'd stay here and fight for what I believe in till I made a difference rather than migrate with them to somewhere else, and I got made fun of. It's okay I guess, because some people don't really understand. I have a bad habit of observing people, their actions, reactions, and attitude. But oh well, at least that makes me get along with almost everyone I meet in my life. I just pity people with social defects.
So that's all for now. Maybe I'll add more stuff soon and maybe some pictures. See ya.
|
Archives
Layout: vehemency
Icon: reruntherace
|
|