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Monday, January 08, 2007, 5:22 PM
There's always a time when you'll find yourself alone. Then you start to think. Friends..Family.. basically, Life. Flashbacks of past memories starts to fill your mind. By yourself, alone, you smile, you frown, cry and even laugh. You know people might think you are crazy, but who are they to judge? For that time being, you're in that happy/depressing place in your mind.
You remembered something funny and and quickly spin to your right to tell someone you thought was there, only to be greeted by empty seats. You look away, disappointed at your mind, taking advantage of the moment you're having by playing tricks on you. You see lights. Then, it hits you. Isn't there supposed to be someone beside you?
You ponder on that thought. The longer you do, the more lost you feel.
A shoulder to lie on?
Or just a voice to respond?
Some coolant for your blaze?
Or is this all just a phase? Yeah. Tell that to yourself. You will grow out of this sick feeling.
But you just can't help but stare at your own reflection and feel really sorry for yourself. 
Day by day, your poor little heart gets pummeled by depressing thoughts and musings. You start to feel emotionally vulnerable and feel down everytime a certain topic gets discussed or during a certain event. You tell yourself, its supposed to be a happy occasion, but you just can't close that floodgate completely just by saying that. I wonder where did the engineer go.. You try to see whats wrong with yourself. Nothing's wrong. The only thing missing is that big chunk someone took from your heart. And you wonder. Did she really take it? Or is she just playing around with it? And your thoughts start to crumble into little bite-size pieces of possibilities and assumptions. 
You find life too empty. Like an empty beaker or a hollow coconut. A thought hits you, and it keeps buzzing in your cranium. You get a job, thinking that doing some work and earning some money will help improve your emotional health(is there such a thing?). But seems that you got the wrong job, and the stress doubles. You become emotionally unstable and your mental health deteriorates. You get migraines and headaches, and don't get enough sleep, since you spend the night away thinking and thinking. A sign buzzes on the ceiling. "EXIT". It's locked. You knock and knock as hard as you can, your last desperate attempts to escape this madness. And finally, someone opens. He gives you a hand, gesturing you to come with him into the light.
You smile and instantly, other smiles start to pop up from the brightness.
A figure goes up to you and gives you the most heart-warming hug you ever felt.
Safe now, with good friends.
Its 2007. Make way for new memories, but please do cherish the old ones.
Love everything and everyone. You will be loved.
Labels: Re-discovering Myself
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Monday, January 08, 2007, 5:22 PM
There's always a time when you'll find yourself alone. Then you start to think. Friends..Family.. basically, Life. Flashbacks of past memories starts to fill your mind. By yourself, alone, you smile, you frown, cry and even laugh. You know people might think you are crazy, but who are they to judge? For that time being, you're in that happy/depressing place in your mind.
You remembered something funny and and quickly spin to your right to tell someone you thought was there, only to be greeted by empty seats. You look away, disappointed at your mind, taking advantage of the moment you're having by playing tricks on you. You see lights. Then, it hits you. Isn't there supposed to be someone beside you?
You ponder on that thought. The longer you do, the more lost you feel.
A shoulder to lie on?
Or just a voice to respond?
Some coolant for your blaze?
Or is this all just a phase? Yeah. Tell that to yourself. You will grow out of this sick feeling.
But you just can't help but stare at your own reflection and feel really sorry for yourself.
Day by day, your poor little heart gets pummeled by depressing thoughts and musings. You start to feel emotionally vulnerable and feel down everytime a certain topic gets discussed or during a certain event. You tell yourself, its supposed to be a happy occasion, but you just can't close that floodgate completely just by saying that. I wonder where did the engineer go.. You try to see whats wrong with yourself. Nothing's wrong. The only thing missing is that big chunk someone took from your heart. And you wonder. Did she really take it? Or is she just playing around with it? And your thoughts start to crumble into little bite-size pieces of possibilities and assumptions.
You find life too empty. Like an empty beaker or a hollow coconut. A thought hits you, and it keeps buzzing in your cranium. You get a job, thinking that doing some work and earning some money will help improve your emotional health(is there such a thing?). But seems that you got the wrong job, and the stress doubles. You become emotionally unstable and your mental health deteriorates. You get migraines and headaches, and don't get enough sleep, since you spend the night away thinking and thinking. A sign buzzes on the ceiling. "EXIT". It's locked. You knock and knock as hard as you can, your last desperate attempts to escape this madness. And finally, someone opens. He gives you a hand, gesturing you to come with him into the light.
You smile and instantly, other smiles start to pop up from the brightness.
A figure goes up to you and gives you the most heart-warming hug you ever felt.
Safe now, with good friends.
Its 2007. Make way for new memories, but please do cherish the old ones.
Love everything and everyone. You will be loved.
Labels: Re-discovering Myself
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Profile
"Lunfy", haha. I'm 19 this year. I like loud people, sports, gym, dancing, singing, the beach, whatever that makes me feel alive. Well, I guess I'll look like any other guy out on the street if you see me. Just like how everyone looks like. But if you do take the time and trouble to know the people you deemed "similar" and "insignificant", the world wouldn't look so big anymore. I like being nice to people, people whom I've never known, seen or spoken to before. Pretty much random acts of kindness, not caring to whom, what, when or where. But too bad, almost no one in this country doesn't really know how to react to kindness. Either they'll act as if nothing happened or stare at you like some freak. I always believed that a single smile can change someone's life totally. I'm a heavy chain smoker, but I did manage to cut down alot this year. I appreciate a wide range of music. I hate the fact that some people label themselves with genres and be so narrow-minded about music. I believe no one can find true love, because it finds you. Till then, please be patient. Don't go starting off meaningless relationships or relationships you know that won't last. I hate the fact that out in the streets, people are collecting cans for a living while our ministers dance around and earn millions each year. Politics around the world are getting more and more ridiculous each day. To me, there seems to be no such thing as democracy anymore, but downright capitalism everywhere. I support movements for human rights and against animal abuse. Even though our freedom and rights have been taken away by ridiculous laws, I believe we can still make a difference one day. Once I told my friends I'd stay here and fight for what I believe in till I made a difference rather than migrate with them to somewhere else, and I got made fun of. It's okay I guess, because some people don't really understand. I have a bad habit of observing people, their actions, reactions, and attitude. But oh well, at least that makes me get along with almost everyone I meet in my life. I just pity people with social defects.
So that's all for now. Maybe I'll add more stuff soon and maybe some pictures. See ya.
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